Wanna know her??

She is the girl who loves sky and moon more than anything else. The rain gives her vibes. She can sit quietly on a rooftop looking at the clear sky. She is happy with her thoughts. She doesn't need anything to be happy but nature. She likes to read books. She doesn't like kindle. She is a mountain person. 

She doesn't care about modern love. She is an old school. She only thinks of the person/people she loves. There are no doubts about her love. Being in love, she is clear of her feelings. Sometimes she is not honest about everything she tells, Bcoz she is afraid n that makes her hide things.. but she is honest about how she feels. There is no comparison of her love. You can find her smiling alone thinking random things. She visits her flashbacks more often than people checking Instagram!

She likes music. Her taste in music is different. She doesn't like the mainstream noisy songs. She calms her mind with music. She likes to walk on empty roads. She likes to look at the stars. She finds the handwritten letters better than the texts. 

She looks at the soul of a person. She is not judgemental of your looks or anything else. She closes her eyes when she laughs, and she hides thousand plus smiles n sorrows within.  She talks with enthusiasm. She falls for the smile and the eyes that contain a thousand stories.

Her childishness is not something she tries, her kindness is the most wonderful thing you can ever find. She asks a lot of stupid questions too. You have to handle her on her bad days. There will be days when she will push you away. You have to take care of her with love. She doesn't want anything from you but love. Love her and she will make you the happiest person. Do not ever let go of her.

If you give her a chances to leave..  if you let her go once... Trust me she will never come back! 

Her love is something pure n rare.. Don't let her go! 

.

.

Signing off,

Vandanaaa✨

And suddenly, I Realized!

Heyy Meow! You want an update?

Okay then listen...

Long conversations Converted into just an update calls.

And suddenly, Life was on its next step.

Late night video calls, Were no longer there.

And suddenly, 'The person you are calling is on another call' was the only hellotune.

The other one had no idea of what's going on, 

Things were not in place.

And suddenly, I was on the path of memory chase.

Every goodnews, Was not good anymore.

And suddenly, Priorities were changed and nothing as before.

Unexpected calls, Were no longer expected.

And suddenly Nothing in my life sounded important to that one.. even my existence, like how my messages got ignored.

Tons of smiles, And laughter was now converted into past tense. (May be just for me)

And suddenly, No one was there to listen to my nonsense. (Leave nonsense, no one was there for me Emotionally)

Happiness was far away,

Sadness needed a little consoling. 

I was the only one who was missing.

I thought I had all the rights even to scold up my friend to make him understand, but my feelings didn't let me narrate on my own. 

I can't lie I wanted that friend to understand me.

I can't blame anyone bcz It's me, who has no one. 

I can't blame myself, I can't change others priorities.

I can't blame my friend, he was there for someone he wants. 

My bestest friend was no longer there for me. 

And suddenly, My bestfriend fell in love. 

And am here ignoring my sadness again, bcz it's good being unnoticed. 

Anyways Am already so used to it that, I can't control my tears just with a lil love from anyone. 

T&C: Please Dont Talk Sweet To Me, You should End Up Consoling! 

#AWeekOldPieceFromMyDiary

#BtwAmNotCrying

Signing off, 

Vandanaa✨

Random thoughts -2

Ykw sometimes being kind can be a problem!

You'll be good n kind to people just bcz you know how it feels & you don't want them to feel the way you always feel or you've ever felt..  bcz trust me I know that's horrible. 

And the saddest part about being good is that people will take you for granted.. everyone.. but the thing they don't know is Even you'll reach that saturation point one day & eventually you'll give up on them. Hiding and holding on works only till some point. And once you decide to move on.., there's no way of coming back. 

Bcz as an old saying says "Once a good man is the rock person now" We'll definitely stop giving a damn about anything n everything.. One day..! 

But they don't know how hard we're trying to hold on bcz only we know how we can change ourselves once we decide to.. & that's gonna be the most emotionless robotic version ourself! 

Just a random philosophy

Just an another empty insomniac night.. Not so sleepy face with a big mug of coffee on the table, beside the half written paragraph on a beautiful diary, while biting a pen cap.. With a light music playing in the room. And a cat at the corner of the bed showing a pity look towards me. 

And the next minute, moved the diary aside n took my mobile. But what to do with that? Thinking.. what about calling anyone n talk🤔.. nah nah.. bad timing n bad idea.. thinking.. still thinking.. & Done thinking! 

As always ended up opening Instagram n started scrolling..

And now...

Scrolling.. scrolling.. like.. scrolling.. like.. scrolling.. Hey wait! I came across a post and it read, “Sometimes the worst place you can be is in your own head” and you know, that post hit me. And when I say it hit me, I don’t just mean mentally, no… it hit emotionally as well because it got me thinking. 

The thing about me is, when I’m alone I think, when I think I remember, when I remember I feel pain, when I feel pain I cry and, when I cry, I can’t stop. 

Suddenly Its dark..  I  felt dark.. everything is dark.. 

I know, but sometimes, in this life, what we need is darkness. I’m not saying that we should voluntarily expose ourselves to darkness no… don’t get me wrong. What I’m saying is that life is like train journey..  & some stations are calm & some are crowded, And the journey is mixture of both. Like how sometimes you feel happy with a seat when it's crowded, and how sometimes you won't be satisfied even with an empty couch..

  Everyone have either experienced something really dark at a certain point or they’re scared to even believe that life could get to that point. 

Let me just be straight with you right here right now. Regardless of whether you believe it or not, there are things that people would go through that you won’t know about. 

I can count on one hand the number of people that know about the little melt downs I have when I’m alone. 

Everyone else only know about the smiles and laughs that I show them.

Ironically, what you would tend to find out is that, the people closest to you could possibly be keeping the most from you. Truth is, you think you know them and because of that, you wouldn’t think to even question them when you feel somethings off because, you believe that if they have something to say, they would say it to you just like that. But that’s not always true you know? 

Funny thing is, I remember having a conversation like this a while ago and they asked “Why are they like that? Like they know you’re asking because you care for them so why would they choose not to say anything?” 

You see, some people are just emotionally independent when it comes to things like that and those people tend to be the people that went through a lott and had to deal with it alone because there was no one there at the time for them to run to or even talk to. 

Fact is once you go through something that traumatising alone, you learn how to be strong… alone..!

So in the end I realised that I may not be physically alone no, but mentally.. yeah may be sometimes..  

But fortunately not always;)

Signing off,

Vandanaaa❤️

#goodvibesonly✨

To my Kanha..✨

I don't know if I love your 

mighty personality or your radiant eyes.

I don't know if your charm has flattered me, 

or your peacock feather.

A flute always reminds me of you.

Is that what I love you for?

Am neither wanting nor dreaming to be with you.

But still I can't deny the fact that

I believe there's a parallel world where I am getting all the reciprocate love!

Here in this world I envision you in my believe.

I don't know if 

the horizon paints you,

or it's just me longing for you to come down.

Here every mom wants her child to fancy dress like you.

Here our love is worshipped,

Our Leele (divine drama) is so popular than the hit movies.

I know that's you Krishna showering all the love n glitter all the way from heaven.

I miss you here.. Longing for you to stay besides yet again,

Just with a promise to stay forever.

because I am your Radhe with the same heart from a whole different world. 

With love, 

Vandanaaa❤️

"And to wake up knowing KRISHNA is on my side... Is enough!!"

#goodvibesonly✨

Yes, You love her..!! But who's she?

Who is She?

There’s a little girl, dreaming about the perfect life.

She's creating a list of the qualities about her perfect guy.

And, on most lists all you’ll see is looks and riches,

But its different in her list. Its not about being rich.

There were 2 main things, loving and trustworthy…

You know Who is she?

The same little girl, dreaming about the perfect life.

She’s dreaming about that beautiful days.

And for some lucky people, it comes true.

Because, they find the perfect guy…

Again, Who is she?

There’s a young girl, dreaming about the perfect life

Which includes the perfect family

Ideally a daughter and a son,

But if there’s more she won’t be too bothered 

As long as she doesn’t have none…

Still.. Who is she?

There’s a young girl, dreaming about the perfect life

That includes the perfect job, to get that perfect house.

With that perfect job, where some girls would hope for status or standards.

But to her, it doesn’t matter.

Because, she believes status doesn't gets happiness…

Can you guess Who is she?

There's a woman, hoping for a perfect life

Making sacrifices for the happiness of her kids,

Putting things off to put her family first,

First person awake to wake you up.

Last person asleep to say 'sleep early'...

Didn't you get Who is she?

There’s a woman, looking back on her life

Thinking about her family,

How she’s proud of her children for whatever they are,

How she's never ready to give up on anything even though life has given a lot of reasons to give up. 

How she's happy with all the imperfections.

How she's happy watching everyones well being...

Come on Tell now... Who is she? 

We call her MOM❤️

YES! THAT'S MOTHER... 

The only person who can shower an unconditional love!✨

.

.

Thank you Maa... for all your sacrifices!

Signing off, 

Vandanaaa❤️

Let us talk..?

Let us talk about a relationship where no matter for how many days we don’t talk, we still be together,

Let us talk about the bad day that is still beautiful for that one tini-mini-tiny thing that went right!

Let us talk about a list that says- ‘Others, Female, Male’ and not the other way round,

Let us talk about a face that’s all acne-covered, dusky, oily and yet the prettiest.

Let us talk about Politicians who are not humans for humans are all the same,

Let us talk about violence towards animals who can’t speak and yet emote in the best ways.

Let us talk about the future with no past stories in it,

Let us talk about a movie that earned less but impressed the most.

Let us talk about bodies that are chubby, and yet so beautiful, and charming.

Let us talk about clothes that are your choice, where, to wear and to not wear is but “your” choice and not just anybody’s business.

Let us talk about a coffee show that begins with a ‘C’ and the host isn’t so much bothered in who is hooking up with whom.

Let us talk about a Holi, a Diwali, an Eid and a Christmas without adding a word ‘Happy’ to it for who knows who’s going through what!

Let us talk aout a Private hospital that doesn’t hide all its reports after accidentally killing one of its patients,

Let us talk about a classroom that starts talking to that one lone kid who cries in the corner for not being able to make even a single friend.

Let us talk and find a way to justify the death of a young child to the mother who carried it in her womb for nine months.

And let us also talk about that father who can never express his love for his kids, and especially the son.

Let us talk about the one-sided love, who never got any love back,

And let us talk about the one who did so much to just receive a betrayal as reward or no credits or the reward at all,

Let us talk about the number of lies that you’ve told your parents so far,

Let us also talk about your sincere devotion towards those same parents whom you’ve abandoned when it’s probably their turn of needing you..!

Huh! 

Hmmm okayy After so much speculation,

LET US JUST TALK PLEASE!

.

.

.

Signing off, 

Vandanaaa❤️

    

Express Yourself...

What are we supposed to do when we are a factory of emotions?  what is it that we actually do? We pack it all up till we become a volcano of feelings. 

We all know the difference between us and the animals. We can speak, we can express. But are we really using this precious gift properly? May be No!

Now we have this something which we usually refer as “Communication gap”. These days people show their sadness in the social media, because we feel its difficult to confront or confess in front of the person, even with the person who's living in the next door or the person who's just a call away.

Communication has gained a great platform on social media, but it has no place in the real world!!

People are trying to maintain snapchat streaks instead of maintaining a constant real friendships!

People are having all the conversations in group chats, instead of group gatherings!

Proposals are made online, invitations are sent in WhatsApp, self growth is showed off in Facebook, breakups are exhibited on Instagram stories and our day to day happenings are well potrayed on Snapchat stories. 

And incase there’s a message a person has to convey to another person , surely it'll be in a form of a post on Facebook. 

Even with having 500 followers on Instagram and making 1000 friends on Facebook, it’s sad to accept that the person feels so lonely.

But when you're finally ready to burst out the feelings packed up inside your heart, you'll back out thinking "It's ok No one will understand me n my thoughts". And end up wishing that it would be soo good if telepathy existed as a way to convey my thoughts to people.

It’s actually pity to watch people being trapped in this genre of extensive-flaunting-of-emotions-on-social-media. And the irony is that social media was supposed to bring people closer.

I have a very basic question, why do people find it so difficult  to speak out directly, but feel very easy to put up a post on social media , clearly describing their desperation to emote , and that too with a very captivating caption, “so true” ?

Some people find it difficult to emote bcz of their past experiences , may be bcz they have expressed a way too much in the past. For all such people, a small suggestion , each time you speak , you let out a part of that anxiety that you hold within.. So try speaking instead of holding within!

Maybe we all find it easier to blame, to curse , to probably hold onto things than to let go, by simply having a friendly conversation.

Where a lot of misunderstandings can be sorted out through a conversation, many problems can be solved by all means of communication... Yess!  why can’t our problems be solved by simply conversing?

      Some people say it's a generation gap that’s disrupting the relation between children and their parents. I say it’s the the "communication gap, not the generation gap!" Children find its comfortable to hide things instead of making a brave move like discussing that in front of their parents.

Mostly they are the children who grow up to post terribly depressing posts on social media at 3 in the morning, where at such a time when they were supposed to be in a deep sleep.

Well , I don’t understand that why is it so difficult to call and speak or meet and speak and so easy to post a picture, apparently saying the same fucking thing that you want to speak? Why do we want the entire world to know that we are sad, confused, heart broken, sick, in-love, happy or hungry?

Is a single person not sufficient?

Hmmmm In the end I'll just highlight the points that I have been trying to explain or make you all understand.. 

Firstly people have stopped expressing,

And Secondly people have started expressing a way too much.

In short, it's kind of Real world exists only in our virtual imagination!!

#goodvibesonly✨

Signing off,

Vandanaaa❤️

Sometimes life seems like a holy mess!!

Yes, Sometimes life seems like a holy mes!!

You know, Today.. the world looked like a holy prison to her. Similar to the tree in her room which doesn't need an autumn to blossom, Which looks the same beautyful throughout an year, because that's just a lifeless paint on the wall. 

And to be more precise, today the world looked more like those butterflies in her room, with an ability to fly but with no willingness to run away to the uncomfortable boredom of her own skills.

She couldn’t understand what she felt like. 

It seemed like her philosophical heart was at deep rest today. Her heart wasn’t constant tonight..

Hey No, she didn’t have her heartbreak. She just didn’t feel good. 

Neither the favourite sunset time nor the smell of coffee did wonders today!! 

Even an open talk with the beautiful moon and the favourite Kenny show failed to make her feel good. 

Not to forget, the cute conversation with a cat doesn't feel like stress busting therapy this time. 

Figuring out what was wrong looked beyond her reach. 

While making all the efforts to sleep, raining sound effects from the playlist which used to work the best failed today. 

Hmmmm when she was lost somewhere in between those random blur questions in the head, there comes a call from BeshtFriend,  which unknowingly blocked all those thoughts for the duration of 91mins.. And yet after the call, those thoughts returns so fast like a child coming running home from school at 4. 

But then the cryptic silence of 2 AM was the only thing which made her realize something. 

Perhaps all she needed at that point of time was someone to tell her, “Life is a mess but you will do well.”

All she wanted to hear were the three mesmerising words, “Believe in yourself.” 

Or just one best line "I will be there with you, no matter what." Or atleast a hug, saying " Talk to me, just tell me whatever you feel, I will always listen to you even if it's nonsense."  

And also she wanted her heart to say, “It’s okay to feel numb. It’s okay to pause for a while and think what you actually wished for. It’s okay to stop understanding yourself sometimes. It's ok to have a mess inside your head, bcz you already know you're messy girl.” 

All she needed was a push, I guess. A push to tell her, “It isn’t that difficult.”

You know, even the champions needs a little encouragement at times. Because sometimes even if the life is a rainbow, we will go colourblind! 

Yes, sometimes life seems like a holy mess!!

Signing off,

Vandanaaa❤️

Are you an Introvert or an Extrovert??

What are you??

It’s one of the  beautiful mornings in the quarentine days, and I can’t help but spend my day reading a good book lying on my bed and taking big sips from my coffee mug. Then the sudden thought pops up in my head, from an yesterday's conversation with a friend., 

The question is Am I an introvert or an extrovert? 

When he told that I sound like an introvert in my blogs, I totally disagreed to that statement. Because I always believed that am an extrovert type and more than me my friends were sure about this, whenever this question came in a discussion, not me or  not my friends, the other people around me used to open their mouth to shout that "Ah No need to ask only because everyone knows that she's an extrovert & no doubt in that." And may be that's what made me not to think about this topic any further! 

And now, 🤔

No, I am not an introvert. I just like to spend time alone at times.  The other Saturday, I spent my time happily hanging out with my friends after a worst college day. The other day when I thought it's gonna be a boring day because my people aren't around, but i really loved the college while hanging out with the not so close type batchmates and classmates, after like really long time. That sunday, the dance practice day, I was with them the whole day but I couldn't believe that i didn't know them till that. And the other week I had been to the beautiful trip, with few of my people and more of kinda strangers, but i really enjoyed the company of those strangers and had really a lot of fun. Infact sometimes I feel like we get more happiness with strangers than our people.. 

This is how I am..

I like nights when the world seems silent and I can talk to myself, I love the evenings where I can just stare at the sunset, in the cool breeze n have my cup of coffee with the music playing from my phone.

I love the beautiful full moon days, when I can talk to the moon about my happiness & sorrows. 

I call it the perfect weekend when I can have the 'Me time' in the house, watching my fav show, with a coffee & my cat. 

And I love the days when I can interact with a huge number of strangers, sharing their pains n good times.

The days of group gatherings, the hangout times, the days when we can put #WeReallyHadLotOfFun.

And of course I really can't sleep without narrating in detail, including nothing n everything about my day to my human diary. 

When someone tells me “I’m an extrovert” or “He/she is an introvert”, I’ve never completely understood what that mean. 

Is it because I smile at every stranger that I am an extrovert or is it because I don't share my sadness with anyone, even my friends in that matter, makes that am I defined as an introvert. 

For me, it has always relayed upon the circumstances one is facing.

Just because I socialise since I’ve a good number of friends doesn’t define me as an extrovert. Or just because he is unable to speak in a public ground or he doesn’t enjoy a party to a longer extent like I do, doesn’t define him as an introvert either. 

Like the other day, we had a longgg journey and a bonfire night and I couldn’t realise what made me dance, I never thought I will.. I guess because I had the best buddies that day, I could enjoy myself. Playing the basket ball in the freezing swimming pool with a really big gang Or socialising in a WhatsApp group at 4 am. is just a matter of what I feel like at that moment.

I think we should take it this way: 

Introverts and extroverts don’t really exist. For all of us it’s just a matter of circumstances, the people you have at that moment and the situation you’re in. 

So, the next day when anyone tells you that “You’re an extrovert.” Tell them, I’m neither an introvert nor an extrovert or an ambivert; I’m just making myself happy. 

And yes, tell them with a smile.. (A grin to be precise)😁

Signing off,

Vandanaaa👻

Ig: @vandnashetty